Diagnosis

I'm not the kind of person that normally writes blogs for others to read and comment upon.  In fact, I've never done this before and never thought I would...but to be honest, I never expected to receive the news I received recently either.

I left home that night around 11:30pm on Saturday, March 26th with the intention of buying a pack of cigarettes and maybe a bottle of soda and returning home.  A quick trip that I had made many times previously that should have taken no more than 15 minutes. Half way home, I began to feel strange and knew instinctively that I was about to have a seizure.  I guess this is the "aura" phase that people talk about and I'd had two previous seizures and knew the terrifying feeling and the awful sensation of feeling my mind disconnect from my body.  The last thing I can remember thinking to myself as the seizure began was "stop the car, stop the car."  Beyond that--blackness and then, suddenly, I came to.  Paramedics and police were knocking on the window of my car.  I was dazed.  I looked at the clock--11:58pm.  How could that be?  I looked back to the paramedics.  "Are you doing alright tonight, sir?" she asked.  I nodded.  "We got a call that maybe you might need some help and we'd like you to come with us to the hospital to get checked out."   The next thing I clearly remember if being loaded into the back of an ambulance.  Suddenly the rush of cool air hit me as I was being taken out of the ambulance and wheeled into the Emergency Room.  I remember nothing of the ride to the hospital nor of how I got from my car onto the stretcher.  The next two hours blur together as my mind fought valiently to regain control and banish the clouds of confusion that had settled in post-seizure.  Several points in time stand out from that time like beacons within the mist.  I remember being told that they were going to need to get a CT scan of my head.  I remember being told they'd found something abnormal in that CT scan and that they'd need an MRI to follow up and explore this abnormality further.  The next moment of clarity that I have is laying in a bed in the ICU of the hospital, again having no recollection of how I'd gone from ER to ICU, and waking up.   There was a female doctor holding my hand.  She introduced herself and told me that she had some bad news to tell me.  She proceeded to tell me that they had found a mass in the left frontal lobe of my brain that was approximately the size of an orange and that they would be taking me to surgery the following morning to remove it.  I don't know how I expected to feel in that moment but to be honest with you my initial shock was followed almost immediately by calmness.  I nearly immediately went into business mode and told the doctor quite plainly that surgery the next day would be "impossible."  I explained that I had left home with the lights on, the TV playing and my dog on the sofa.  I further explained that I have no family in the local area and that a surgery of that magnitude would be simply impossible at that moment in time.  I asked how long she thought I could postpone the surgery and her response knocked me back a little.  "Well, we're talking weeks not months" she replied.